Wonderland of Providence

Tomorrow everything will be all right

2012-01-13T23:41:00.003+08:00

Just cannot be as happy as before, don't know why, it is like I lost the ability to be happy a long time ago.

Pay too much attention to other's opinion, as a result, I can't really be myself most of the time. It is only when I am alone, I will understand how lonely I am.

Gradually I am losing my friends, as we are not keeping in touch. I even forgot some of them completely. It is terrible, and I really don't want this to happen.

Don't know whether I have ever loved someone or not, or it is just I am too lonely that I want to have somebody to love.

To age, basically our valuation system changed. We, instead of cherish those purely interesting things, now pay more attention to the amount of money we can make, the amount of knowledge we can learn, the kind of friends we could make, the higher position we can go to... it is just terrible to be mature in that way...

I wish I still have the heart of a child, that I certainly will enjoy my current life much more...

Last night is wonderful:)

2011-12-23T14:18:00.002+08:00

I really enjoyed the dinner with her last night:)
I know it is a bit conventional in terms of the Christmas gift, but the bear is just too cute to resist:)
Also, luckily she said:" I Love it!" HOPEFULLY she could change the last word to "you" in the near future:)
Eh... Stupid Malaysia trip... I am coming:)

She accepted:)

2011-12-20T23:05:00.005+08:00

After being hesitating for half an hour, I have finally dialled the number. It took a while before she answered the call, and surprisingly she sounded rather weak. What happened to her? Is she all right? I suddenly became nervous, and had the impulse to go and look after her...

Well, the truth is that she was already sleeping...OMG...She did the same thing yesterday:) she waked me up by sending a message yesterday. It was so accidental, maybe this is so-called fate:)

Sorry to wake you up in the middle of the night:(

Thank you for accepting my invitation to the new year eve party:)

Let the past pass bah:)

2011-12-19T21:43:00.002+08:00

Today the damn MRT went wrong again. Luckily it was at Raffles Place that It went wrong . So learnt from last time, I quickly switched to green line to go back by Jurong East. Although the time when I packed food and reached home is already 9 O'clock, It was much better than last time already. It shows that experience do matter.

On the way back, I was all the way reading the letters between Angela and me. They reminded me a lot of things that I almost forgot. They are just like diaries which I used to write here. When I read through them, sometimes I could not believe that they are written by me. They are so positive and encouraging most of the time. I can feel that I am really into her at that time. I tried to help her and make her happy by any means I can think of. At the darkest time of our lives, we accompanied each other by writing letters. that is enough.

Later when I was looking through weibo, one sayings shared by Nahan caught my eyes: If you holds the past with both hands, what else can you use to hold the present? I could not agree more. Let the past pass bah, the present is much more precious:)

Long time no see

2011-12-18T17:05:00.008+08:00

1. Finally back to my intended career path, there are a lot of people I want to express my gratitude.

Starting from my friends:)

Stella Tang: Thank you for letting me know the importance of time. If it was not you who urged me to start taking actuarial exams a few years ago, I would have never passed so many exams.

Michelle Liu: thank you for persuading me to stay at Singapore, otherwise I would be at Germany already. In fact, I was quite doubtful about my decision to stay, but gradually I felt it was the right decision.

Edwin Poh: thank you for letting me know the importance of perseverance. It is really my luck to know you:) If it was not you who have forwarded me the job information, I would never get to know my current position.

Angela Fan: thank you for believing that I would be an actuary. Sometimes I am just not that determined, so I do need your support.

Then my interviewers:

James Goodchild: Thanks you for interviewing me during your lunch time, I really appreciate your understanding and kindness:) Also, thank you for giving me this beautiful opportunity to work with you, you are the best boss I have ever worked with:)

Agnes Ng: thank you for arranging interviews for me, the timing was just excellent in the sense that I did not need to meet all four interviewers in the same round.

Josephine Lee: thank you for your interviewing questions, although tough, but enlightening as well.

Sean O'Carra: thank you for taking time to interview me given that you are in Australia. Your question about my future plan is just nice to show my determination.

Last but not least my dearest parents:

Papa&Mama: thank you for supporting wholeheartedly whatever decision I made, without you both, I could have never achieved who I am today! You are the best parents forever!!! Love you forever!!!

2. It is really my pleasure to get to know Nahan, such a lovely and active girl. When she is around, I am just more happier:) Hope to meet her again soon! Next time, I will bring some duck neck for her:=)

The following wonderful picture is taken by Lv Yonglin:)

Walk my talk

2008-11-30T12:30:00.006+08:00

"If you would like to spend time to think about all the things, then it would be just nice." I know what this implies. I know it right from the beginning of August. Yes, I do know it. I just try to ignore it, hoping someday you may change your mind. But it turns out that you are too determined a girl to reconsider. The last message I received from you before I came back to Singapore manifested your stance very clearly and firmly – merely want to be my friend like Michelle. To be able to keep in touch, I replied without hesitation:" sure, no problem." But later I realized it was just too hard to let it go. Anyway, I will learn to respect your choice, and hopefully you will be satisfactory after I really walk my talk.

There are only two weeks left before I could fly/flee back to china, and this will be the second time that my returning is during December. Having spent so many years in this tropical island, my yearning for coldness and snow is so overwhelming that I cannot help imagining the beautiful scene of the whole world covered by thick and white snow. Anyway there are still two exams to go, I cannot be dreaming too much.

Attach a picture of the snow as the end.

Be happy always

2008-10-02T01:19:00.025+08:00

It's now 12:18 Am. Not long after I came back from the steamboat restaurant at Bugis, where Lei, Zhiwei and me had just cheered for the 59th birthday of China and pre-celebrated the 22th birthday of Lei. Haven’t met Zhiwei for months, he is still so slim, as if a strong wind would, at any time, whisk him up into the clouds, yet he was the only one who kept eating to the end, which have really made me ashamed of the capability of my stomach. Nevertheless it was a wonderful meal, simply because last time feeling so full was about years ago. On the way back, there was one song played repeatedly in my hand phone – love you secretly.

You should be at Peking already, and will fly to UK tomorrow, not really, should be later today. There are already three months since we made acquaintances, and I simply cannot deny my yearning for you. I miss you not because I feel alone. In fact missing you made me feel lonely. I have never encountered such a girl before, pretty yet having a good taste, lovely without affectation, considerate even to notice your tiny uneasiness. However, I simply cannot accompany you at side, which has depressed me for long. Hopefully there will be someone better at your side to take care of you, comfort you, and protect you, most importantly, to let you be happy always...

Have a lot of work to catch up already since I have been slack for so long. Hopefully my CAP would still be acceptable after this semester, like all the previous ones, tough yet safe.

The following wonderful picture was taken from 'My Sky'.

Right hand side

2008-09-30T20:01:00.018+08:00

Sitting beside you without a single word
Time is running out second by second
Lightened by the sunshine through the window
Your angelic smile embedded in my mind

Your departure will not make me sad
That is the only lie I ever told you in my life
For what I appreciate most are your eyes
Which are so pretty that are just unsuitable for bearing tears

Go ahead to soar in the sky
And keep in mind that there is no need for missing
The seat on my right hand side is reserved always
Only after looking through the world
Should you thus decide where to land

I will still be running along the endless street
With my heart lying left while on the right has nobody
Having you on mind I will be fine regardless of the loneliness aside
Hopefully like what I believe always
Once said goodbye
We are sure to meet again somewhere…

My december

2007-12-22T18:33:00.000+08:00

this is my december
this is my time of the year
this is my december
this is all so clear

this is my december
this is my snow covered home
this is my december
this is me alone

and i just wish that i didnt feel like there was something i missed
and i take back all the things i said to make you feel like that
and i just wish that i didnt feel like there was something i missed
and i take back all the things that i said to you

and i give it all away
just to have somewhere to go to
give it all away
to have someone to come home to

this is my december
these are my snow covered dreams
this is me pretending
this is all i need

and i just wish that i didnt feel like there was something i missed
and i take back all the things i said to make you feel like that
and i just wish that i didnt feel like there was something i missed
and i take back all the things that i said to you

and i give it all away
just to have somewhere to go to
give it all away
to have someone to come home to

this is my december
this is my time of the year
this is my december
this is all so clear

and i give it all away
just to have somewhere to go to
give it all away
to have someone to come home to

Vacation comes

2007-12-07T05:04:00.001+08:00

Have not been here for three months, me as well as anyone else…

Wrestled with se7en modules this semester, like a hero…

Making the decision not going back home this December is never easy… Every time mum questions me whether I will go back, I can hear the desire in her heart hoping me to go back… and the reason that I choose to stay here, I still are not aware of… maybe due to Michelle’s words… or the promise I made to Stella... or I just want to buy some bargain clothes this charisma’s day… I don’t know my heart as before…

I am running out of money very rapidly… now only 200 something left in my account… Luckily my mum prepared me a master card, for which I won’t appreciate so much if I have plenty of money…

Thunder is planning to self-study some Japanese this December… In contrast I decided to learn some French… He told me French is not of much use… Well.. I don’t quite agree… who knows what will happen in the future…

Can you figure out the below maths puzzle?

Be a Vegetarian from today

2007-08-27T21:58:00.000+08:00

Not going vegetarian is a choice.
We respect that.
But that choice
is often based on very biased information.

The meat of today is very different from that of 20 years ago.

Meat is disguised in the flavors of vegetation.
Colorful, cheerful advertisement and
discount schemes hide truths and give the impression
that meat is tasty and desirable.

Associating meat with super-heroes or charming figures
creates deep and lasting impressions,
especially in the tender minds of children.

We have been brought up to think that meat
-tastes nice,
-it can be produced humanely,
-is beneficial for health and
-is vital for a balanced diet.
NONE OF THIS IS TRUE

Ancient wisdom: we reap what we sow.

Going vegetarian is also a choice…
We hope that your choice is based
on complete and truthful information…

While the treatment of animals on farms
and slaughterhouses varies from country to
country, suffering is inevitable…
simply because
no animals wants to be imprisoned and killed.

Billions of innocent animals
will live in cruel conditions and then die brutally
as long as there is demand for meat.
Only you can stop it…
by choosing vegetarianism.

Build a better world
for all of us and
for the children in generations to come.

Cherish it

2007-08-19T00:35:00.001+08:00

When a girl invites you to have dinner together, cherish it

When a girl is pretty tired, but insists on cooking a meal for you, cherish it

When a girl comes to your apartment from afar to celebrate your birthday, cherish it

When a girl has faith in you that you will be successful in the future, cherish it

When the traditional Chinese lovers’ day comes, cherish it...

Goodbye, KR (3)

2007-07-25T17:46:00.000+08:00

After hastily skimming through the housing agreement, rashly taking out my ‘Parker’, and roughly initialing the pact in the administrative office of PGP, I suddenly realized that I’ve left KR forever.

To be honest, KR is not a bad residence. It’s adjacent to the biz library and not distant away from the arts canteen. The only shortcoming, which is also the fatal drawback, is its lack of basketball courts, which had formed me a sedentary life style, and my weight problem had later irritated me for months.

PGP, which stands for Prince George’s Park Residence, is renowned for its large number of residents from various countries. In total, PGP could provide shelters for almost 3,000 students, most of whom are moving out of NUS campus residences the following year, like me, due to not enough CCA points. That’s unavoidable; I always comfort myself; as the limited NUS campus residences could not cater to the increasing number of freshmen.

Last night, 8pm we, gang of three, with the assistance of a stuff-moving company, moved out our stuffs, which have been stored in KR during the summer vacation (so-called for convention). It maybe the last time we went back KR. It sounds a little bit depressing. Anyway, the life journey is still going on, none of us would have time to pay a tribute.

In a nutshell, it is an end, but also another brand new start!

(The end)

Home

2007-04-04T13:06:00.000+08:00

Only in my dreams I'm not so far away from home

What am I in a world so far away from home

All my life all the time so far away from home

......

I'm going home, back to the place where I belong...

Windows Vista

2007-03-28T14:30:00.000+08:00

A joke goes like this: After Microsoft released its new operating system Windows Vista, all Mac users laughed.

A remarkable 20 million licenses of Microsoft's new operating system Windows Vista have found new owners after one month of availability, according to Xinhuanet.

A guy named Joe Wilcox posted at Microsoft Watch that Microsoft's claim of 20 million Vista licenses sold simply didn't add up when trying to assess who realistically bought them in the time frame – "in the opening month".

A day heard from Lei, Windows Vista has provoked outrage and disappointment from many its users, some guy even tape-recorded and uploaded to YouTube his extreme treatment of a newly-purchased Vista installing disk.

A NUS SOC account is entitled to download and install Windows Vista for free.

A day in the future we may be all using Windows Vista happily.

The art of waking Lei up

2007-03-22T00:15:00.000+08:00

Sometimes after I get back from FOS at around 5:30pm, Lei is still sleeping soundly. Even worse, he behaves exactly as what is implied in his name -- even a clap of thunder could not wake him up. Nevertheless, Carl and I will do our best to accomplish the mission impossible.

At the very beginning, Lei slept with his door unlocked, thus it was an easy matter for us. However, good things won't last. Lei began to lock his door before falling asleep.

Still we happened to perform the task by virtue of some ingenious means, such as continuing calling him by taking the advantage of his thunder-like phoning tone, or breaking into his room through the unlocked windows, or even shouted outside vigorously:"Lei, wake up, Senior Lei is coming!"

However, Lei has gradually developed a series of measures to protect him form being disturbed, such as setting the activated profile of his N73 to silent, closing his window and so forth…

After that, it has really become a headache for us, and most of time we would probably end up with a failure. Nevertheless, waking Lei up has become something interesting in our daily life at KR. And we really enjoyed in doing that!

Attach a picture of the sunrise as the end, hope our future will be like it -- brighter and brighter...

Goodbye, KR (2)

2007-03-15T21:46:00.000+08:00

Dining hall is also a memorable place!

In dining hall, the residents from each block have their traditional regions, for example my fellow blockers, always sit together at the left ahead table. Once heard from Miao Hui, the central ahead table is sort of by convention, reserved for PRC scholars, and that is exactly what I've observed in reality.

At the very beginning, I was trying to sit together with Singaporeans during dinner time, but it turned out to be silence at most of time since we hardly had anything to talk about. Gradually, I don't sit with them any more. I'm a little bit sad about that.

We made acquaintances with some American guys there, who were really vigorous and outgoing. One of them is Cal, who is not the crazy kind of American guys that we usually see in movies, but a nice gentleman. He was here last semester during SEP and he took delight in sharing music with friends immensely. He has once sent 3.0G music into my portable hard disk, which has later driven me crazy, as my disk has no free place to store my newly-downloaded movies. Before Cal left, he had friendly given us some presents as the memories of our friendship. I received a pair of speakers, which I have been dreaming about for long! Thank you, Cal!

Let me show you a photo of our dear KR dinning hall as the end.

(To be continued...)

Goodbye, KR

2007-03-10T01:10:00.000+08:00

Yeah! In two months, we could move out of Kent Ridge Hall! Good news, isn't it?

Let me give you some hits about our one year life here!

The first thing that comes to my mind is the studying room! It's quite nice a zone equipped with air-con. I bet at least one third of my nights at KR, I went there to study!

Actually at the very beginning, I was a little bit resistant to studying there, as I thought my bedroom was quite comfortable already! It's Carl and Thunder who introduced me such a nice place but resulted in hardly going there... So you see! Things are quite absurd sometimes.

Carl is so confident about the security in Singapore that he always leaves his yellow windbreaker there to reserve a seat. However, as I mentioned before, he seldom goes there to study. As a result, it's me who always wears his coat in the extreme conditions.

We made acquaintance with an Indian security guard there. He looks a standard Indian but somehow could and only could speak in Chinese "Ni Hao". Nevertheless, it's quite rare already for a senior Indian to be capable to speak some Chinese.

It's time for me to show you a photo of our dear KR studying room!

(To be continued...)

Eton Hall Forever...

2007-03-06T20:56:00.000+08:00

How time flies! Since we guys moved out of Eton Hall and settled down in NUS campus residences, it has already been nearly one year!

Although we may have disliked the food there, quarreled with the aunties there, fought with someone there, or even been attacked by some farmer-like workers who were so poor and homeless that could only sleep in the bushes outside the back door of Eton Hall...

We cannot deny that we also have loved there...

We have celebrated our first Lunar New Year outside China there, had our first birthdays with no relatives but friends there, beaten NTU SM2 basketball team there, played CS and Warcraft all night long there, enjoyed Dr Tay's innumerous singing-and-playing performances there, and even got our first A+ there...

These pieces of our life there will be treasured in my heart forever...

A brand new start

2007-03-04T19:24:00.000+08:00

I'm quite proud to invite you, my dearest friends, to join with me today in what will go down in history as the greatest turning-point in the history of the whole Internet.

Count down (in seconds):
3.0
2.0
1.0 0.9 0.8 ...
My new Internet blog has been started:)

From this day on, I will share with you -- my dearest blog, the happy and not-so-happy moments in my life, and I know that you will forever give me comforts and encouragements.